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From Bitch to Buddha

I became obsessed with the pursuit of happiness when I lost my mine. Happiness was something I never used to think much about---I just was. Happy, that is. Then, a decade ago, I developed a chronic pain nerve condition in my feet, which led to depression, which I was completely and totally unequipped for. I mean, depression just fucking levelled me, y'all, and I was one of the strongest, funniest, wiliest people I knew.

And then it levelled Robin Williams. And people sat up and took notice. If depression could take out one of the funniest people on the planet, couldn't it, in theory, get me too, people wondered? I know sure as shit that's what I was thinking. And I thought a lot about how I, too, used humor ruthlessly to mask my pain, and I wanted to write about that.

And it all coincided with a time when I was working on my own issues with patience, politeness, positivity, being present, and reclaiming my lost mojo. I morphed my struggles into a mantra of sorts, what I was calling "the Five P's": Be Patient, Be Polite, Be Positive, Be Present, and Be Powerful. I'd spent the last 20 years being a caustic, jaded city dweller, and I was tired of the bitter, angry person I'd become as a result. Where had it gotten me? And now that I was coping with pain, depression, aging, I realized maybe I needed to develop some new coping skills to serve me in the second half of my life. 

It hasn't been easy. Old habits die hard, and I'd sure as shit rather make fun of your hair and fashion choices than try and empathize with you. But here I am. And I wanna take you on this journey with me. So join me, and feel free to leave comments as you see fit! Feel free to contact me at feedback@strugglingbuddha.com. To subscribe to my podcast, click on the Podcast tab above!